An Actual Blog Post (for those of you who care to read)

So yeah, I'm sure some of you are getting annoyed with my only posting songs and not my actual thoughts. I mean, that's what a blog's for, right? For you to post your thoughts, your feelings, maybe poems and stories, but not so much songs, but then again, who's to say what is right or wrong? Anyway, I guess I'll try and give you an update on my life as it has been lately.

School is almost over for the semester. I've got 4 more finals to go (got 3 done this week) and I must say, this has been both a hard semester, a terrible semester, a good semester and a fantastic semester, all at once, and for different reasons. Math has been very difficult, and I'm not sure if I'll pass the class; my final exam will determine whether or not I'll have to take it again in the Spring. Ear Training has been challenging, but I've also learned a lot and I think it's good that I've been challenged by it, because I have grown a lot and become a better musician because of it. Ballet has had it's ups and downs; I don't like any of my classmates, with the exception of 4 girls who aren't completely full of themselves, but I have also grown a lot because of this class and I've learned a lot. I've become more confident in myself and in my ability to dance. My private voice lesson has been, as always, fun and challenging as well. Mr. Sloat always encourages me, but he also pushes me to become the best singer I can be. And last but not least, Chamber Singers. Oh my goodness, what fun I've had this semester! Yes, the music has been difficult at some points, but I've made so many new friends this semester because of choir that it makes me very glad I didn't go away to a big university after I graduated, because if I had, I wouldn't have met these amazing, awesome people.

And, of course, the love life. Well, it's been... different, to say the least, and when I say different, I mean different from the last relationship I was in. No, I'm not going to dig up the past and point fingers and start ranting and raving about what happened with Mark, that's not what I want to do. That chapter of my life is over, and I'm enjoying every minute of this new chapter. Yes, it's had it's hard moments, and at some times it hasn't been easy and it's made me question this decision of dating Travis. But I don't regret this choice, and I don't ever want to regret making it, even when this is over, which is going to happen, there's no doubt about that. The reason I say this is because it's true. The fact is, I'm going to be going away to another school, either next fall or the year after that, but the fact still stands. I'm not going to be here, in Kingwood, forever. And Travis and I both knew that when we decided to start this relationship, but we decided that we would take this chance and go for it anyway, even though we know it won't last.

It hurts to think about that, it hurts a lot. But I've decided something. I'm not going to worry about having a permanent relationship, not now, and not for a while probably. Right now, all I want is to have fun and to enjoy the happiness of being in relationships, even if they won't ever end in something like marriage. I'm not going to worry about marriage, not now. Not while I'm so young and have so many other things I want to do before thinking about settling down. And, for the time being, I'm going to try not to think about when my relationship with Travis is going to end. I don't want to think about that, at least, not for a while. Yes, it's going to happen, and I've accepted that, so I don't want to worry about it now. For now, I just want to enjoy being with him and enjoy his company.

Anyway, I think that's enough for today. I'm going to the Joyful Sound Christmas concert tonight, and quite possibly I'm going to be dragging Nathan and Travis with me :-) it's going to be a fun night. Well, until next time, peace out!