Life Unexpected

So it's been a while since my last post, and I can definitely tell you that life has both gotten better and worse. It's gotten better because on Monday night I talked to Mark for the first time since the break up. I talked to him on the phone, of course. Still don't know when or if I'll feel comfortable talking to him in person any time soon, but I say that talking to him on the phone was a HUGE step in moving on with life. Oh sure, I'll probably say "Hi" to him at church from now on, but as for having an actual conversation with him face-to-face, especially in public? That might take some time. We talked for a long time on Monday, although my cell phone kept dropping the call (a MAJOR pain in the neck) it was still a relatively good conversation. I say relatively because it wasn't the most fun or happy conversation we've ever had; it was pretty deep and very depressing for me, and at one point I started to cry, but eventually I got more comfortable with hearing his voice again (gosh, I really am pathetic, aren't I?) All in all, it was a good conversation.

Now for the worse part. To start off, school is killing me. It's only the end of the third week and I'm DIEING from all the homework I have! I don't remember having this much homework last Fall! ARRRGH! >_< Nor do I remember school being so stressful and leaving me completely exhausted. I swear I must be sleep deprived by this point; my sleeping schedule is non-existent now and when I do get sleep it never feels like I get enough, because I still wake up feeling exhausted and I go through the whole day continuing to feel exhausted. Some people would argue that I'm just too busy, that I'm trying to do more than I can handle, but that's not true. This isn't like in the Spring when I was doing 2 different shows at once, which REALLY made me tried, because this time I'm not doing a show... well, technically I am, I just don't have a part in it.

And to make it worse, I just found out the other day that this guy who I've been friends with since I did 'The Wizard of OZ' with Houston Family Arts Center (HFAC) wants to date me... but the problem is, he doesn't think it would work out. When I heard that, I thought "What the crap does he mean by that? Why wouldn't it work out?" So I thought about it, and the only thing that I can see why it wouldn't work out is because he lives in Katy, which is like on the other side of the world from where I live. That's the only reason I could think of. There might be more reasons that I'm not aware of, but I can't think of any others. And to be honest, it really annoyed the crap out of me because I had to hear this from another friend of mine, who is a mutual friend of me and the other guy. This is what I told my friend after he told me that this guy really likes me: "You know, it's really awesome that he likes me and wants to date me, but I'm definitely not ready for another relationship yet; I don't want to rebound on him... but if he really likes me, then he needs to MAN UP AND SAY SOMETHING!!!" Oh my gosh, you have NO IDEA how much it bugs me that guys will have a crush on a girl and really like them and want to date them, but they will NEVER SAY IT TO THE GIRL'S FACE!!! They won't come out with it and be real! My message to all you guys out there is this: Grow a spine, man up and SAY SOMETHING TO HER!!! She'll never know how you feel about her until you freaking say something! Yes, I realize you run the risk of being totally rejected or finding out that she already has a boyfriend, but if you want to date a girl and you really, truly like her, you need to come right out and say it to her face. Man up and say something, daggum it, or she will never know!

Well, now you know how I feel about that, onto less aggressive topics hahaha :P I've got a lot of homework to do this weekend, starting today. I've got 2 tests this week, and I have to sing in Master Class on Monday. On Tuesday I've got a test for Ballet on barre technique, and then on Wednesday I have a math test -__- oh joy (tired sigh) yeah, I've got a lot to do... Oh, and I'm currently working on a story :) It's a fairy tale. I've tried to write a fairy tale once before, but I dropped it because I couldn't figure out how to keep the plot moving along, so I'm hoping that this one will be better. Not sure when I'll have it finished (I'm currently still working on the first chapter. Yes, it's going to have more than one chapter, so just deal with it, k? :P) Anyway, I better stop here. I've got some Piano homework that is calling my name. Until next time :) later, peeps!