Friends, Waiters, Cashiers and Break ups

My friend Brittney came over yesterday and spent the night. One of the best cures for a break up (so I've been told) is either chocolate, or having a really close girlfriend come over and help you start the long, painful process of getting back to normal... or for me, normal meaning going around singing showtunes and blathering about Broadway. That's my "normal." It also helps to have a night out with some good friends. Nick Doremus invited me and Brittney to meet him and another friend of ours, Kayse Poland, out to Chachi's, a Mexican restaurant. Since Brittney and I had already eaten dinner, we said we'd go and get dessert. And so we met up with Nick and Kayse and went to Chachis. Little did I know that I was going to find myself doing something I haven't done in a long time: Guy Watching.

Yep. I suddenly found myself staring at the waiters... all to my dismay, guilt and embarrassment. Dismay, because I couldn't believe I was ACTUALLY doing that. Guilt, because it hadn't even been a day since the break up and I was already wanting to catch the eye of another prospect. And embarrassment, because most of them were probably way too old for me or already probably had a girlfriend. It felt strange.

You see, until now, I was totally off limits, of course. Which meant I wasn't allowed to let my eyes roam around, or sneak any glances at the kind of guys many girls would call "eye candy." But now... I am back on the market. In other words, I'm "single and ready to mingle." But it feels strange. VERY strange. I'm not a natural flirt, so I don't think any guy would find me very interesting with my lack of flirting skills. It's not going to be easy to try and find someone new. For one, I'm the Theatre Geek. I think that's all that need be said.

Guys find me to be very odd. I'm really into theatre, I love musicals and anything Broadway related. That's not normal, or so I think. Plus, I like to keep my hair short, and the general rule of thumb for society is, "If it has short hair, it must be a boy." So yeah, there's that. And, there's also the fact that all guys are total wimps, especially Christian guys. They just don't have the guts to tell a girl how they feel about her. Here's what I think: All the good guys are either gay, taken or fictional characters. That's the straight up truth.

I've been doing a lot of crying lately, especially at night. Last night was hard. I felt so alone and lonely, even though Brittney was sleeping next to me. So I went to my grandma's room and cried myself to sleep. I think I'll be taking sleeping pills for the next couples of nights.

Something incredible just happened to me. I just got back from the store with my mom. We were buying some fruit for the college back-to-school party tonight at Mindy's, and I am bringing a fruit tray. Well, first we stop in Food Fair, thinking they might have something. All we managed to find was two things, but when we got to the check-out, I was so glad we came. There, at the check-out next to ours, was a SUPER CUTE cashier! OMG! I managed to catch his eye, smiled... and I found out I'm a better flirt than I thought I was. He smiled, and he had to walk past me do go do something, and I SWEAR I heard him say, "How you doin?" when he walked behind me ;) And then, as we were in line checking out, I saw another guy a couple of lanes over. He was okay looking according to my Cuteness Scale, but he caught me looking at him, and stared back at me. At one point he even smiled at me and laughed. Not the mean kind of laugh, the kind of laugh when you're amused or find something to be really nice or surprising. We kept this up the whole time I was in line; I would look at him, he would look back at me, and I would look away, trying to act nonchalant about it... or at least, not completely desperate. By the time I left, I was pretty sure he was hooked.

So yeah, I think I'm slowly getting back to normal :) hahaha, although flirting definitely isn't something that is considered "normal" for me, but I guess that means I'm moving on, which is good. I'm not going to let this affect me or my life. I am going to move on, however painful it may be, and I'm going to live and enjoy life... and start looking for a new potential boyfriend ;) well, that's all for now! Later, peeps!