Will This Nightmare Ever End?

I don't know how I should feel.
One minute I'm sad, depressed, lonely, hurt, confused, and the next I'm
Angry, furious, plotting revenge, mad as hell
And wanting nothing more than to
Strangle him, slap him, and make him regret leaving me.
And then... I go back to being sad, depressed, lonely, hurt and confused.
Will this nightmare ever end?

I can't look at him.
I can't stand to see the sight of him.
I don't want to look at him.
I don't want to hear his voice,
I don't want to see his eyes...
Those beautiful blue eyes...
No.
Please no.
Not those eyes.
Those clear, intense, beautiful blue eyes...
They will be the end of me.
His smile... his laugh... his voice...
His hands...
No... please no...
Will this nightmare ever end?

My heart doesn't know how it should respond.
It feels everything:
Anger, rage, sadness, loneliness, confusion, depression and rejection.
My mind doesn't know what action to take:
Should I take my revenge?
Should I beg him to take me back?
Should I find someone new to make him jealous?
Should I make him regret leaving me?
My soul isn't sure what is going on:
Is this God's way of saying I'm not ready to seriously date?
Is this God's way of saying I don't deserve happiness?
Is this God's way of saying I'm meant to be single forever?
Is this God's way of saying there's no one out there for me?
Will this nightmare ever end?

My mind tells me many things:
You'll never find your Prince.
You'll never find true love.
You're not good enough for anyone.
You're meant to be alone forever.
You should go flirt with every guy you see,
Even if he's the worst guy in the world,
At least you won't be alone anymore.
You should lower your standards, they're too high.
You should run to him and beg him to take you back.
You should do everything you can to make him regret
His decision.
You should slap him in the face when you see him next time.
You should go completely destroy his car; slash his tires, break his
Windshield, bust out his headlights, the works.
You should never speak to him again.
You should leave town; make a new start, a new life.
You should get rid of everything that reminds you of him.
You should stop hoping; no one will ever love you.
Will this nightmare ever end?

I want love.
I want someone to love.
I want someone who will love me.
I want to feel strong arms holding me tight again.
I want to feel someones hand in mine again.
I want someone to pursue and chase me, and who won't give up until
He has me.
I want to find my Prince Charming,
My Romeo,
My Knight in Shining Armor,
My Hero.
Will this nightmare ever end?

The ring on my finger says, "True love waits."
But is true love even real?
Does true love even exist anymore?
And if it does, why is there so much unhappiness in the world?
Why do so many women face the pain of rejection?
Why do so many relationships fail?
And, I suppose the other question is...
If true love isn't real, then why bother to wait?
And if true love is real, then is it really worth the wait?
I don't know what to believe anymore...

Will this nightmare ever?