Love Story (lyrics will follow)

It's funny... all I think keep thinking about today is the lyrics to Taylor Swift's song "Love Story" In fact, that's what I've been listening to all day long. And what makes it even more funny is that, even though I'm quite certain Mark is going to break up with me, I have this strange positive attitude about it. Oh yeah sure, it's going to hurt a lot when it happens, but surprisingly I've got a peace about it. And I think there are two reasons for this.

1. I've got God, and I've been growing a lot closer to Him lately, and discovering more about myself. God has shown me a lot through my relationship with Mark, and especially now that we're going through such a rough spot (wait... "rough" is an understatement. We're basically at the end of our dating relationship, "rough" doesn't begin to describe it, but whatever.)

2. The story and the lyrics that the song "Love Story" talk about is so beautiful and so amazing that I can't help but believe that someday that will happen to me; that I'll meet my true love, the one man who wants to be with me always and forever, and he'll never want to let me go, and we'll be so happy together. This song gives me a lot of hope, something that I haven't had since Mark and I started dating.

The truth is, I've always thought NO GUY would EVER want to date me, or would even ever have feelings for me. Well, Mark quickly changed all that. When I look back on these last 7 months, especially at the beginning, I see something really special and beautiful. I see me, the happiest I've ever been in my life with a guy who is so wonderful and who really cares for me. But this past week, all I can see is dark clouds, anger, hurt, pain, sadness, and confusion. But I also see a second chance. I can see us getting together again and being just as happy, maybe even happier, than we were in the beginning. But not if he doesn't want that. If he doesn't want to give both of us a second chance to right the wrongs we've committed against each other, then I can't, won't and don't want to stop him. I can't, because it wouldn't be fair to him to make him stay with me if he's not going to be happy. I won't, because it's not right to make him to be with me if he doesn't want to. And I don't want to because if he doesn't want to be with me, then it's his lose. I am prepared to move on with my life and see where God takes me... and I'm more than prepared to finally find my Prince Charming.

Will it hurt to break up? Will I feel completely rejected? Will it be hard to pick up the pieces and move on? Will it take a lot of time for us to become friends again? Will it hurt to see him with someone else? YES. To all of those questions, and more. But, like I said, I've got this peace. This strange, amazing and comforting peace. And I've got God. What more could a broken hearted girl ask for?